i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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