that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
