Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
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