Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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