Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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