I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
