remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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