The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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