I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
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