well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Can I color on your dick again?
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize