...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
