No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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