whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
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