Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
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