I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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