Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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