can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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