The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
