just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
