Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize