Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
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