halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
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