I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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