She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
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