I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
