I must be too annoying 4 u.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
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the ceiling is raining jello shotss
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
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The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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