hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Randomize
