Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
3 2 1 whiskey
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
