So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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