how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
