'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
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