i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Randomize
