Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
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