i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Randomize
