i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
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