That's intense
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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