I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
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