you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
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