Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Randomize