Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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