I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
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