he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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