She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I will be naked everywhere
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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