Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
