Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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