So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
