The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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