we should wear snuggies to the strip club
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
