Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Buhtt sex?
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize