if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
