Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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