If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize