Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
