Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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