TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Randomize
