Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
