Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
