I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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