It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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