Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I yelled at your uterus for you.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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