you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
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I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
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Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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