Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
