So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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