this is something i pride myself on being below average for
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
