i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
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