Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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