I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
