im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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