she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
